The Road to Confidence

Do you ever struggle with confidence in what you are doing in your business or life?

This is a summary and interpretation of Confidence 101, a MentorBox lecture by Jonathan Kendall — summary credit: Jake Flothe.

Confidence is living by how you see and judge yourself, rather than how others see you. According to the lecture, there are four steps to achieving a confident and ultimately successful life.

Step 1 — Acquire Self-Compassion

Self-compassion is the act of forgiving yourself for any possible outcome that is not desired, rather than throwing yourself under the bus before anything has even happened.

Many people have said “the battle was lost before it had begun” — and this is true in many situations. Before an event has even started, people have already decided they will fail, and so they do.

Self-compassion makes this impossible. It means there is no more such thing as “failing” — there is only something to be gained. Either you will succeed, or you will better yourself and learn from it. This effectively eliminates a lack of confidence because you know that no matter what, there is only an upside.

Step 2 — Prepare Yourself

If you work, day in and day out, on something, you will eventually become an expert at it — and therefore confident in it. Something you practice your whole life is something you will be good at. Preparation leaves you with confidence to complete tasks within that range of skills at a high standard.

Step 3 — Build a Confidence Bubble

Give yourself a confidence bubble — a force field that allows you to block out negative comments and concerns. This bubble keeps you focused on yourself and not on what other people think of you.

Often, people allow others to negatively impact their confidence. This bubble reflects negative opinions and only concerns itself with feedback that will make you better, not worse.

To take it further, this bubble should be surrounded by positive influences. That comes down to the decisions we make about the people we surround ourselves with. The goal, no matter how hard, is to draw closer those who improve us.

Step 4 — Build Yourself Up Before Events

Right before an event, a sense of extreme anxiety and nervousness can come over you — making all the preparation feel pointless. During this time, it’s important to not avoid these feelings, but to redirect them into something positive.

You can:

• Think about previous positive experiences
• Use music to hype yourself up
• Do other activities that are exciting and confidence-boosting

Getting “psyched up” is necessary to getting good results. Right before an event, in a time of need, you have to rise up toward success.

A Word of Caution

As much as confidence is useful, it is important to draw the line between confident and overconfident. Overconfidence leads to failure — you may not worry enough or prepare adequately.

Confidence isn’t about walking around like you are the best in the world. It’s about how you feel inside — whether or not you are meeting your own standards on a daily basis.

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Reference: mentorbox.com

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